Saturday, January 30, 2010

"...if you need to crash, then crash and burn, you're not alone..."

For those who recognize, YES, those are Savage Garden lyrics. It was the only song I could think of that had the word CRASH in it, which refers to, you guessed it, the inevitable crash I experienced today after the wonderful productivity of yesterday.

I stayed up too late talking to my boyfriend and also my best friend, who's in India and so I have to work around her time zone whenever we talk. I miss her so much! Anyway, back to the point, I then slept til 3 pm, had ridiculous dreams, finally woke up... only to then take a nap around 6 pm and sleep through dinner til about 8. As my 14-year-old sister might say... fail. Major fail.

But, really, as crashes go, this was one of the best possible scenarios, and that's what I'm grateful for today. I got a lot done yesterday, so there wasn't too much pressure, and it snowed all day today, so it's not like I could have gone anywhere anyway. I have tomorrow to pick up the pieces, and I did manage to get some medical forms filled out and sent away, so that makes me feel better. I'm seeing a doctor on Tuesday who specializes in Lyme disease, and I finally applied to see this different doctor who specializes in chronic fatigue syndrome. My immunologist recommended I contact her, and my mom's been giggling all week at my excuse for not doing so-- that I'm too fatigued to email the chronic fatigue doctor!

I'm a praying sort, and my prayers are with all of you this week-- every person has their own burden to bear, and I know a lot of you are struggling under the weight of yours. I pray that God give you the strength to endure, that there is something to be gained from your situation, and that you are returned to a more hopeful and happy place in your life very, very soon!

Friday, January 29, 2010

Busy, busy, busy!

That was for you, Jenny. :-P

In Methodist churches (and others I'm sure, but this is where I've experienced it), they have a time during the service where church members offer up prayers and praises to the congregation. I have a major praise today: I had a busy day today!

It started with a little mix-up at my doctor's office that caused me to get up at 8:30 this morning for an appointment that is now this Tuesday. Oops. (It was a problem with their automated reminder system-- it had misinformed me). I briefly considered going back to sleep because I was so tired, but instead, at my mom's nudging, I drank some coffee and got to work brainstorming and working on some journalism assignments. After that, I guess momentum kept me going, followed by adrenaline, because I managed to work all day today. I did homework, answered emails, made important phone calls, put away my laundry, and cleaned my room and bathroom. Seriously-- this was a busy day, I dare say even for a well person, and most DEFINITELY for a chronicall fatigued person. Of course, I had to take numerous rests, and I'm keeping my fingers crossed that I didn't push myself too hard and end up crashing tomorrow... but still, I got a lot done, and the peace of mind that produced might just be worth a potential crash tomorrow. Providing that it doesn't last more than just Saturday, that is.

I wish someone (with more experience in psychology than me) would write something on different personality types and chronic illness, though I suppose that it's really not easy no matter who you are. Anyway, I read a book a couple of months back called Do What You Are. It's fantastic, by the way, if you're still looking for that perfect career path. Anyway, they use the Meyer-Briggs personality test, and I’m an ENFP, which stands for enigmatic-intuitive-feeling-perceptive. The individual components of that aren’t really important for my point, but the overall description describes people with my personality type as enthusiastic “people-people” with boundless energy.
You’re probably starting to get my drift about now.
Of course, I WISH I had limitless energy. Doesn’t everyone? But it is an odd conundrum, isn’t it, when your personality would lead you to multitask and over-schedule in a way that is absolutely detrimental to one’s health?
Well, I mention it because, as I told a house guest tonight, I used my energy today to be “as type A as possible.” I framed pictures, I dusted surfaces, I reorganized closets, I folded my underwear… I got everything exactly the way I like it.
So I may be exhausted… but I know I’ll sleep well tonight in my oh-so-perfectly laid out, organized room. :)
Good night, everyone! Good luck with your own journeys, and thanks for reading my minor success story.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Hate to blog and run...

...but it's 12:09 and this girl needs some sleep!

However, I wanted to stop by, mostly because I haven't blogged since the 1st of November! Don't worry, I haven't abandoned the project; life just got in the way. Between sickness, the holidays, and my computer being busted until today (hallelujah! I am truly a child of the digital age), there was simply no blogging to be had. Oh, I also attempted to take part in National Novel Writing Month during November, during which a bunch of fanatic writers attempt to write a whole novel (50,000 words or more) during November. Unfortunately, I didn't finish, but it was still good fun, and I have every intention of getting back to that poor, lonely, unfinished manuscript... any day now...

I've also been medically busy, per usual. I'm pursuing a doctor who specializes in chronic fatigue, chronic Lyme, and things like that; I'm looking into a possible Lyme diagnosis; and I've even been trying out a, get this, magnetic bed the past couple of weeks. I kid you not. I met a lady with a similar condition who has had fantastic results with it. It was worth a try, but I'm sad to report that I don't notice that much change. Actually, my sleep has been a little poorer because it's become a bit uncomfortable. Well, c'est la vie. Always worth a try! I'm still interested in alternative therapies, and I'm looking into finding a nutritionist to help me craft a better diet. I really don't eat that well, if I'm honest with myself, and I've always gotten away with it because I'm young and have a good metabolism. But there's so much more to good nutrition than weight management, and I really think I would benefit from learning more about eating the right foods to increase energy and overall health. So I'll let you all know how that goes.

I have way more to say, but I'm going to save it for later this week and just leave you all with my last big piece of news: I'm going back to school this semester! It's VERY part-time (2 classes, once a week each), and it's local, so I can continue to live at home, which tends to make things easier for me, having a built-in support system for when I relapse. I'm pretty nervous about it (and about paying it and all the extra anxiety-producers that go into schooling), but I'm hopeful too, and excited to be taking another step toward graduation, independence, adulthood...

I'm truly hoping that 2010 is my year. :)

What are you all hoping for in 2010?


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