It's been over two months since I've posted, and you know the old adage: No news is good news. Unfortunately, this counts as news, so- you guessed it- I'm sick again. I don't really have any details. I haven't called the doctor yet and I don't know how long it will last, but I've been feeling bad for the last five days and it's been getting progressively worse each day. It could just be a stomach bug, but having been chronic for so long, I'm definitely a bit overly-anxious these days!
And honestly, I'm having some issues with the lines between blog life and real life. As I start to step back into the fold of... what? The rest of the world? Normal-paced living? Something like that. Anyway, I've been feeling better, starting to move faster and see more people on a normal basis, and I'm just really cautious about being that girl who over-shares. Because this blog is publicly attached to me, anyone can find me, and some of my more avid followers include my mom, my aunt and cousin in Ohio, and my little sisters. So when things happen that I want to blog about-- like my penchant for being approached by only engaged/married/divorced men in bars or the difficulty in differentiating between hangover-sick and beginning-of-crash-sick-- I generally decide against the risk. I'm not really sure what to do with that right now.
Basically, it's hard being single, young, and sick. Or should it be "BUT sick," in a way that kind of cancels out any dateability or friendability points gained by the first two factors? It's weird. I haven't worked in awhile, I'm not in school full-time, and I've been house-bound for the past couple years. Soooo my social circle has shrunk quite a bit. I love the people I know, but I worry about strangling them with my neediness, especially now that I've hit that 3-month post-relationship loneliness huddle.
So that's what's going on. I have lots of thoughts and no idea what the rules are for Internet-sharing. I'm trying not to let the Internet get in the way of all the things I need to start doing (part-time job, sign up for classes, start searching for a real career...), and I'm starting to have a little trouble staying sane through it all. Of course, my body went ahead and slowed things down for me, so thanks for that, body. Way to hold it down. Or something.
Anyway, how do you guys decide how much to share? I mean, really, if the point of doing this is getting to know people (thus showing my true self), being real, and you know, staying sane, how do you share what you want without cringing at the thought of your mom or distant friend or ex reading it?
Also, in unrelated news: I'm watching an E! Special on Justin Bieber and COMPLETELY developing Bieber fever. I just want to put him in my pocket for whenever I get sad. So cute! In a completely legal and appropriate way, thanks. :)
Anyway, how do you guys decide how much to share?
ReplyDeleteSometimes I ask the person in question if it's OK. Other times I just ... don't share. My friends and family have a reasonable expectation of privacy, and that takes priority over any desire I might have to broadcast certain happenings over the blogosphere.
Of course, it's easier for me. I have a band blog. I write about the band, about music in general, and about ME, which the band does advocacy for. There's a lot of stuff I leave out not only because it might violate privacy, but because it would be off topic.
I only share with those people I see on a frequent basis who genuinely mean it when they ask "how are you?" Others, I say I'm doing okay, been better - been worse and leave it at that. If they want to know more, they'll ask. Sometimes someone will say "no I mean how are you REALLY?" And then I know I can share more.
ReplyDeleteAs for the blogging thing - I set up my blog anonymously because there are family members whom I don't want knowing all my business :-)
As for meeting new friends? Go and do whatever you feel like when you feel like it and when you don't, stay home and enjoy the solitude for a while. It will pass and then you'll be out and about again. When a friend asks why you're not going out a lot at some particular time, just say you're not feeling well and leave it at that. They'll ask if they want to know more.
With new friends, take it slow when it comes to sharing about chronic illness. Most friends don't need to know. If someone becomes a closer friend, you can share when the time is right (and you'll know when that time comes).
I'm sorry you're feeling bad. Hang in there -- your online friends are your support group when you need them :-)
How much to share is tricky. I kept a friends-only blog for a long, long time, but as my health issues increased I didn't want to burden my friends with the minutiae of my illness. Going with a public blog, of course, opens up a whole other can of worms.
ReplyDeleteWhile I did not advertise my blog to my family at first, I always wrote with the intention that I would share it with them eventually- a bit like Facebook where I network with a lot of my co-workers. Some things I only refer to generally- I don't use hubby's name or where either of us work, but my real name is on my blog, so it's an odd mix. I have had a public, online persona for a long time, so some things I have internalised. Of course, sometimes I go back to my old blog and cringe at what I made public to the world (and then lock the post), but thanks to the Internet, once it's out there, assume it's out there forever.
As an employer I can learn an awful lot about my employees and potential employees that they might not intend to share- I have to keep in mind that they can learn just as much about me.
Anyway, how do you guys decide how much to share?
ReplyDeleteThis is something I really struggle with. My blog is actually three blogs squished into one: One friends-only blog, one work blog and my PsA blog. So, now I don't share things like my husband's name or where I work, and I'm going through my old posts to remove that stuff bit by bit. But I also try not to write anything of which I'd be ashamed. There's nothing on there that, if push came to shove, I'd be embarrassed about. It's all a matter of how far you want to go.
And, I hope you don't mind, but I've got a bit of a (good!) surprise for you on my blog: http://cupsquietlybeingfilled.wordpress.com/2010/07/13/you-like-me-you-really-like-me.
-Nessie
My boys and I just watched him on Ellen yesterday (though I think it might have been a repeat - not sure) - he is a cutie.
ReplyDeleteDeciding what to share on a blog is a fine line. I don't have any easy answers for you. My husband reads my blog and I wish my mom would (she knows the address and has before once in a while). And like you said, a blog is public, it's out there. You actually don't know WHO is reading it - only a small percentage leave comments. I know one of my closest friends reads my blog every day but she never comments. So, you do have to be careful what you say, while also trying to be honest.
And you're right about the difference between real life and the virtual world on the internet. The sicker I am, the more I'm online. The better I feel, the more I'm too busy to spend much time online.
So, while I've been wondering about you, I'm thrilled to hear you've been well enough to live in the real world. I'm sure you'll get back there soon - this is probably just a temporary crash.
Sue
"Basically, it's hard being single, young, and sick. Or should it be "BUT sick," in a way that kind of cancels out any dateability or friendability points gained by the first two factors?"
ReplyDeleteI broke up with my boyfriend of 4 years about a year ago (can't actually remember now, which is shocking!) and I'm now kind of missing having a boyfriend. I don't know if that's because I'm not used to being single, or it's a sign that I am improving and want to go out and enjoy life with someone again!
I've no idea how I would find someone since I don't really go out anymore (to bars and clubs) and by confidence is really low.
Great, another thing to worry about!
PS. So happy to see you blogging again!