Monday, July 26, 2010

Saving myself from... myself. I'm pretty fearsome you know.

Gah.  I think I seriously need to go on a Facebook fast.  That's actually WHY I'm posting tonight, just to warn you all.  I've been in this crazy reconnect mode, which is good, but it's causing me to get semi-obsessive about Facebook, which isn't normal.  I've been doing all this reading about dating in the digital age recently because it's just such a weird phenomenon, this brave new world of technology and how it's changing the most fundamental ways we relate to people.  I bring it up because it occurred to me tonight that if I feel the need to connect with someone, I log on Facebook.  Or I send an email, or I get on Twitter and just send out the equivalent of a mass text.  You know what I don't do?  PICK UP MY TELEPHONE AND ACTUALLY CALL SOMEONE WITH IT.

I mean, maybe I'll send a text message. Maybe.  But a phone call, in this day and age, feels so... invasive. Isn't that weird?  With a few mouse clicks I can see someone's online social history for the last year.  If I want, I can read what my friends are saying to each other, and I can see all the events I'm missing.  And yet straightforwardly calling someone and actually asking for their precious, non-digital time feels really presumptuous.  Even with people I know really well!  Seriously, kids, is it just me?

Anyway, I haven't really figured out this whole Facebook dilemma and, frankly, I should probably be putting all that cognitive energy into something revenue-producing, like my freelance work, or into that novel I like to pretend I'm writing.  But instead I'm now making massive lists of new blog names, with my cousin's help, and trying to figure out how to take all of these driving-me-crazy thoughts and siphon them off into a place where I can get some feedback.  So I'm going to take a massive chill pill and take the next, let's say, three whole days away from Facebook.  And maybe I'll go get my damn cell phone fixed too so I can stop checking my text messages (it no longer makes a noise or anything when I get one, and I've missed a lot, so now I'm all paranoid).

In other, slightly more relevant news, I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow.  Some of you have been sweet enough to ask me how my treatment's going, and hopefully I'll have some more answers as of tomorrow.  I'm feeling great, to be honest, but just 2 weeks ago I got pitifully sick (back to the bed-ridden, writhing pain kind of thing) and had to take a break from the antibiotics.  So I'm probably going to have to start taking those again, provided the Lyme didn't just decide to up and leave.  Which would also be just fine by me.  I need to stop being such a priss about some of the medical tests too.  When I was miserable, I did ANYTHING they asked me to (weird science, anyone?).  Now that I'm feeling better, I have more things on my to-do list than just my medical care (yay!) and sometimes when they want me to do some complicated test... I dunno I just put it off.  Not responsible in the least, I know, but it's what I've been doing and I need to redouble my efforts.  On a positive note, however, I've started exercising again, so that's good.  I overdid it a little last week, but I went for a nice long run today and actually feel relaxed now instead of sore.  Amazing.  Borderline miraculous, to tell you the truth.

Oh, and there's this:

That's all I got for today.  I answered everyone's comments in a massive comment on my last post, so if you're one of the sweet people who offered your kickass support, please check out my comment back!   You've all been so unbelievably awesome on this journey.  It's such a weird thing to have to explain-- you kind of have to experience it.  And I appreciate so much that you take the time to share and commiserate and cheerlead and all the other awesome ways you guys have reached out to me.  So thank you for sticking by me, even when good health calls me back to the land of the living and I miss the whole month of June.  Oops. Please pray that I'm not jinxing myself and that I continue to get better!  I know it's not all of your belief system, and that's cool, but I do pray for a lot of you and really care that your daily and long-term needs get met and that you find peace and happiness and, hopefully, healing.

Okay I'm done gushing.  Gross.

First image found at
Second image:
Third image courtesy of me. You're welcome.


  1. I am really hoping that tomorrow's news is good news! I'm glad that you are feeling better at the moment as well!

  2. Ha ha ha - loved the photo and the cartoon! Facebook is very addictive, definitely. Blogs are too! Like you said, some days they're just too distracting from actual productive work! I try to organize my day a bit. Mornings - when I generally feel best - I focus on freelance work and household stuff and I save blogs and Facebook for afternoon, when I'm usually a bit run-down and lying on the couch with my laptop is about all I'm up to.

    So glad to hear you're feeling better these days!! Most Lyme experts think that is the real test for when Lyme is gone - are your symptoms gone after you go off abx? Unfortunately, I just found the answer to that question for myself is NO. After 2 years on abx, I tried going off last week, and my symptoms quickly came back. I'm back on now - major bummer. Hope it;s good news for you tomorrow!


  3. I know what you mean about phone calls. There are still friends I can call with no problem, but it feels weird with old friends I haven't talked to in a while, or with very new friends.

  4. THREE whole days without FB?! Whoa, that's major. At least you'll get a break from reading about how "BLESSED" everyone is. Hate that. Good luck with your dr appointment!



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